blazian's posterous http://blazian.posterous.com Most recent posts at blazian's posterous posterous.com Mon, 22 Nov 2010 15:21:58 -0800 Intro (incomplete) to a story I am thinking of writing... http://blazian.posterous.com/intro-incomplete-to-a-story-i-am-thinking-of http://blazian.posterous.com/intro-incomplete-to-a-story-i-am-thinking-of

“A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.”

            -Malcolm X

 

            The shadows stir in the darkness as my eyes slowly begin to focus.  Looking up at the lazy spin of the fan I slowly begin to fully awaken.  It’s only October but I’m forced to cocoon myself within the confines of my bed to stay warm. A slow twist of the head reveals the time to be 4:37 in the morning and the beginning of yet another day.  Crawling out of bed is the hard part, but once I get my body in motion the daily routine begins to settle in.  I grab the nearest pipe and poke around the bowl looking for that last bit of green from the night before.  The lighter temporarily lights the room as my lungs begin to feel with the warm, acrid smoke.  A lone desk sits in one corner of the room with a dormant desktop screen while the gentle hum of the refrigerator reverberates from the small kitchenette.  Aside from a small easy chair and some scattered clothes, the room looks bare and desolate.  Exhaling the smoke, I pull on some jeans and a t-shirt and light a Kool in the barely lit doorway.  The sun hasn’t even begun to rise and night still smothers the barren landscape that is Relax, Arizona.  For a dingy, rural town, Relax was still the main hub for illegal business in the southwest.  There is barely a handful of supposed “law-enforcers,” and even then a handful of cash can sway even the steadiest of minds.  When I say the term “illegal business,” I mean literally everything that is heinous, immoral, and against the law.  Alcohol, firearms, and narcotics, are only at the bottom of the list, while at the top you can find anything from supposedly extinct animals to even some small nuclear weapons (of mass destruction).  It is almost as if there is some unseen, supernatural force that is drawing together the world’s most dangerous people and converting them into the world’s most dangerous community.  To see all these criminals and degenerates in one place living peacefully, even thriving, was indeed a disturbing site at first.

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Mon, 08 Nov 2010 11:38:00 -0800 Fuck Being A Fucking Math Major http://blazian.posterous.com/fuck-being-a-fucking-math-major http://blazian.posterous.com/fuck-being-a-fucking-math-major

     So I definitely set this posterous up to actually post on and possibly put some of my writings up.  But of course after I set it up I immediately forgot all about it and moved on to studying math.  That would make this my first official post on this site even though it has been sitting dormant waiting for me to fill its pages.  As usual I am writing while under the influence of a lot of "inspiration" and I feel as if being Asian might not actually be enough to get me through my math classes.  I originally thought that being a math major would help me out a lot in life, and from my experiences it is a pretty good degree to have coming out of college.  However, I truly cannot stand the schedule I have this semester simply because of the math.  Maybe less than a year ago I was willing to freely admit that math was enjoyable and I could actually see myself doing it as a profession.  Then slowly it turned into a vision where math wasn't enjoyable but I was smart enough to do it so it was worth keeping for the money.  Now I am officially at the point where I am just so pissed and stressed that I truly can't see how I got sucked into this abysmal never-ending major.  And I have noticed too that its only the college part of the Math Major that I truly despise.  I want to believe that at this point in time if I was hired as a calculus 1 teacher I would be able to set up a curriculum, find a book, and create assignments and a test for my class.  And yet even though I only want to teach cal1 and maybe cal3, I still have to learn ridiculously advanced math that will not be pertinent to my teaching calculus....

          I am currently in 3 math classes: MATH 323, MATH 402, and MATH 422.  323 and 402 are not terribly difficult material and I actually like my 323 teacher (only second math teacher I have liked my entire college life).  However, my 422 class is stupid difficult.  And not stupid as in intellectually stupid but stupid as in "I don't wanna look at the book in case I have a seizure," stupid.  Not only is the material super difficult but the teacher is teaching about twice as fast as he should so getting behind or lost is easier than shooting fish in a barrel.  It's more like shooting an already dead fish lying on the ground point-blank with a fucking desert eagle.  I'm to pissed to finish this.

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